One day, we’ll hop off the nightmare train of COVID-19, and we’ll be able to travel again. When we are, I plan to visit New Orleans so I can party 2020 out of my system.

I lived in New Orleans for five years. It’s where I started teaching, went to grad school, and met my husband. Every few months, a friend or acquaintance shoots me a message that reads, “Hey! I’m going to New Orleans. What should I do?” After the sixth or seventh time, I went ahead and put together a stock email. Now when anyone asks, this is what I recommend.

The French Quarter

I happen to personally hate the French Quarter, but I feel like you can’t visit without doing the touristy stuff and walking down Bourbon Street at least once. You should also get beignets (pronounced ben-YAYS) at Cafe du Monde. Otherwise, the Quarter is a black hole for good food that costs less than $50 a person, unless you really like west African food (I do!), or huge burgers with huge mixed drinks (it me!). Then go to Bennachin or Port of Call. Or if you want to dress up and blow a wad of cash on a meal, go to Arnaud’s, hands-down.

What to Eat

The best, reasonably priced restaurants? Willie Mae’s Scotch House is a short drive from the Quarter with amazing fried chicken (so do take-out spots McHardy’s and Man Chu, which won’t have lines); it’s been voted best in the country by quite a few national critics. Boucherie was voted best new restaurant the year they opened, and nothing on their regular menu is more than $20; you’ll need reservations to avoid a major wait, but they’re easy to get the day before. My ex-husband and I used to go there for all of our special occasions, and a lot of random slacker Tuesday nights too. It’s the kind of place that works equally well for either.

If you like oysters, head to Casamento’s on Magazine Street. They have strange hours, and are only open during oyster season (months with an R), but they’re the best in town. Cochon has amazing contemporary Southern food (amazing pork, and pretty great everything else too), and also isn’t too far from the Quarter. They also have a cheaper sandwich shop next door called Butcher that rocks. Fancy pants lunch comes with 25-cent martinis at Commander’s Palace.

For po-boys, go to Mother’s for the Ferdi special (they’re good, just not the best – but I know you won’t listen and are going to spend a bunch of time downtown) or Parkway Bakery for their shrimp or roast beef. Unless you’re out in New Orleans East. Then, get you some banh mi from Dong Phuong or basically any sandwich from Vucinovich’s.

What to Do

As for things to do (other than eat, which will take up a lot of your time), my three best recommendations are:

• Ride the St. Charles streetcar line from the Quarter until it ends all the way Uptown. It’s the best way to see all the fancy pants architecture, and how quickly the city’s neighborhoods can change character back and forth.
• Head east and drive around the Lower Ninth Ward and New Orleans East. It’s a part of the city tourists don’t often pay attention to, but the damage caused by the storm is still there to see, and it says an awful lot about the city.
• Leave town altogether and take a short day trip to Laura Plantation, which is the only acceptable plantation tour in the region, and is also the best house museum tour I’ve ever been on.

Where to Drink

If you’re drinking, remember that you can take your drinks to-go. Get a daiquiri gallon (did I stutter?) and drink it at The Fly in Audubon Park. Depending on what kind of scene you’re into, go Ms. Mae’s (dive and SO cheap!), Maple Leaf (live music), Cure (fancy), Kajun’s (locals, karaoke), anywhere on Frenchman Street, Pat O’Brien’s (touristy, but the hurricaaanes), and Snake and Jake’s (this is in three sheds pushed together and lit with strung-up Christmas lights, and is AMAZING).

Have fun, and make sure you keep cash on you – a lot of places still don’t take cards.

Tierra

A malcontent with a heart of gold, Tierra is a first-year medical student, former high school teacher and history PhD candidate, plus mom to four of Bebe’s baddest kids. She curses a lot. Tierra is a DC native but lives in southwest Michigan and will happily exchange writing (hers) for cash (yours).