1 Year Later…
PART 1 – An overview of March 22nd, 2020 – March 22nd, 2021
Friday the 13th…
… has always been one of my favorite days, which is why on Friday March 13th, 2020 I had a Game Night at my house. They’re one of my favorite things to do so I tried to have one every couple of weeks. Little did I know that Friday Game Night would be the last time I had one at that apartment… ever!
As I look back now at the 365 days that followed that ordinary night, I find myself filled with lots of What’s. In fact I asked my students last week to write a letter to themselves or someone they knew well that answered the question: “What has a year in Pandemic Life changed about you?”. I told them to think back over the last year, what do you wish you had known? What have you learned? What has changed, what has stayed the same? What do you want to make sure you remember?
I would have…
At the very least, taken the food out of the fridge in my office, packed up more of my belongings from my desk, made sure I hugged a few people, given out a few more smiles, high fives and kind words of encouragement.
Who knew the next time I “saw” my co-workers would be on a Zoom Happy Hour, where my boss would be encouraging us to drink!
I would have stopped by my parents house that weekend. I wouldn’t have put off going to the grocery store, especially would have stocked up on toilet paper and boxed wine!
Here’s my one time use of “hindsight is 2020” but let’s talk about what we actually DID do in the last year…
I finally made time to…
Sit outside in the grass, making art, listening to music and not once looking at a clock.
My life’s mantra has been “always be painting…” and for once I was able to live it out. Without worrying about money, why I was doing it, who or what it was for, other than myself, my own mental health.
For many days in 2020, I was just thankful to be outside. At one point I was locked down in my apartment for three full weeks. Never once left. I wouldn’t have believed you if you had tried to warn me about that. Even now looking back I know it was only genuine & overwhelming fear of the unknown possibilities that lay outside my door, in regards to my health, that made it possible.
Before I knew it, my time became filled with all the things I previously never had time for… I was able to go back and read those books I never finished, attend virtual art classes & seminars with my favorite artists, finish projects, photograph & frame pieces I had forgotten about… even organize & sell my own artwork!
Before I knew it…
Embers that had almost grown cold became bright burning fires again!
That little voice inside of me that had been pushed back suddenly had a megaphone. It was my paintings, my drawings, my photos, my writing… suddenly being trapped inside my home meant I felt as though I had no choice but to make my voice heard. You’d think all these years wandering cities from coast to coast, country to country, that voice would have been used. Then it felt so free that it was surprisingly quiet, now locked away inside a small apartment, it grew overwhelming loud & hard to contain.
“Always be painting…” became more true in 2020 than ever before. It became a daily practice. It was truly my lifeline. From the simple things like a delicious beet from the weekly CSA to echoing the cries of BLM.
I took time to notice my hands…
Slowing down meant seeing all the details, especially the ones we used to overlook. Whether it be the small things like how nice it was to see another human or how much that drive with your favorite jams on could set the tone for your day. Suddenly, the big things became easier to tackle because you had time for the small details. We could look in the mirror and really LOOK.
Who was I? Who did I want to be? What am I doing with my words, my actions, my time?
Those answers did not come quickly or easily but two weeks, turned into two months and before I knew it, each day felt like it had a purpose: to be lived, to be experienced, whatever that may mean.
My voice & my hands became the two strongest parts of my body. They no longer worried about anything other than making a mark worth being left behind.
Real growth isn’t noticeable…
The hardest part of the last year, has been the fact that we not only never knew what was coming next but time moved in a way where it was hard to see how far we’d come.
Some days we were just surviving, some days we sprouted new parts that changed how we looked completely, other days we could have been mistaken for dead… but we were always growing.
For me the layers of change weren’t fully noticeable until I finally made my way back to that same place I left on March 13th, 2020.
Almost unrecognizable. That’s how I felt and that’s what my art room was.
No more large art tables, no more colorful work on the walls, no art supplies lining the counters… cold desks, spaced 6 feet apart.
Suddenly, all that growing felt pretty important because I was the only thing that anyone had to look at.
All images & artwork featured in this post are originals, copyright @always_be_painting & *ZZ* Makes Art
DC Based Artist & Educator
Corcoran College of Art + Design Alumni
Always painting, usually writing, making a living out of making art; I make my art work.
